“Beep, Beep”, went on my alarm clock.It was 5:30 am ,time to start a new life again .Its been a while since I have done it and needless to mention that my apprehensions towards this new beginning kept haunting me through out the night. Not that I was scared but something inside me was not happy the usual way. My husband shook me and handed over the morning tea. Sometimes I get lucky to be served that way.As always the great face reader heard my inner qualms and said ,”don’t worry he will be just fine”. And this broke me. It was about my cute little angel , whom I nurtured for nine months in my womb and then surrendered to all his demands for next 16 months. Since the day I first time took him in my arms ,have never separated from him more than an hour.But today as I start back my career after pampering break, it was jittering as to how will I stay without him ,more than him staying without me. So used to of his naughty smiles, half eaten words and running around the house ,I could feel a void inside me the entire day .He was on my mind during the orientation in the new organization and worse half way down I started feeling I am the worst mom in the world.My thoughts kept juggling between the right and the wrong.During lunch break,I called up the day care to check on him and was little relaxed to know that he was sleeping .Wondered how did they manage to make him do that, for it took me six months to learn about his sleeping schedule. Again the anxious mom called from inside, ‘what if they didn’t feed him and he slept all the way crying’. Thought itself was too much for me to simply run away from all the hiring formalities with the new employer. But something held me back till 5pm and then as soon as I could, I reached to pick him up.
Looking at my anxiety the day care Head called me inside and there I saw my little one playing with kids of his age, singing ‘Ringa Ringa Roses..’All engrossed in dancing and matching the steps of new found friends, other then his 30 yrs old mom,he didnot even realise that I was back.Again I couldn’t stop my tears , this time it was definitely for a better reason for I was overwhelmed with his first day response.Truly my angel!! I called him up and he came running straight in my arms.Hugged me tight and smiled.Felt like he said, 'missed you mumma’.I too smiled back and whispered, “I missed you a lot darling”. We came back home, played for a while, had our dinner and then he went off to sleep. We were all set for sweet dreams, for this time something inside me reassured me that , 'He loves you and you will always be his best mom in the world'.